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HOW TO DRIVE AWAY WEB TRAFFIC

My friend Alan Stevens, the Media Coach sent me this.
Take heed

Here are a few rules that you can implement if you want to keep those annoying visitors away from your website. After, all, they only send you pestering emails trying to buy things from you. It’s a real nuisance. Even if you only follow one of these rules, you will be able to reduce the amount of inconvenient requests from potential customers by a huge amount. Ready?

Insist on customer registration before they can see all the pages
Keep popping up screens asking them if they want your newsletter, or would like to fill in a survey
Have text scrolling across the screen, like a neon sign
Give detailed information about the history of your organisation
Hide links under innocent-looking pictures
Use lots of flash, so that poorly-sighted people with screen readers can’t make sense of the page
Include the phrase “Optimised for Internet Explorer”
Tell users that they have to download software to see the page properly
Use cheap clip art and standard images
Tell the visitor what their problem is
There, that should do it.

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