Brave Questions….

These are taken from a book shown below. I have edited down to the questions I think could be relevant. This is just my opinion and maybe if you buy the book (from Amazon) you will find other questions more relevant to your personality, culture and style of communication.

“Business questions”

  • What job do you hold? What jobs have you had in the past?
  • What things cause you the greatest daily annoyance? What things bug you the most in an average day?
  • What is something that you hate to do? Why?
  • What is one area in your life where you excel?
  • What has been your greatest success in life?
  • What talent do you wish you had?
  • When was a time you won something or earned some kind of reward?  What was it?
  • How would you define success?
  • What qualities do you think are needed for success these days?
  • What geographical move in life had the biggest impact on you? How did it impact you?
  • When was a time when it seemed like a new world opened up to you?
  • What is a major risk you’ve taken in life?
  • What is the hardest thing that you’ve ever had to do in your life?
  • What is the stupidest thing you’ve ever done?
  • What is one of the best decisions you’ve made in life?
  • What is the best advice you’ve ever received?
  • When did you decide that you wanted a long-term business relationship with me? What make you decide that?
  • What three moments have been the best in the relationship so far?
  • What are you most thankful for in the relationship?
  • What three moments/periods have been the most difficult in the relationship so far?  What made them so trying?
  • What do you like the most about me?
  • What do I do that ‘bugs’ you
  • What do you like the least about me?
  • When you look at our relationship from the very beginning to this moment, how would you describe it?
  • On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the highest, what number would you give our relationship today? Why? What could be done to increase that number?
  • What one thing makes you the angriest in our relationship? Makes you the angriest at me?
  • What’s the most common mistake we make in our relationship? In our communication?  What can we do about it?
  • What can I do to make you feel more confident about our future together?
  • If you had a chance to do our relationship all over again, what would you change? What’s our next step for making that happen in the future?

“Home and origins”

  • What was your neighbourhood like when you were a child? How has it changed over the years?
  • What are some of the things you like about the place you are living now?
  • What is the most unusual thing that has happened in your neighbourhood?
  • Where were you born? What, if any, unusual events surrounded your birth?
  • What is your earliest memory?
  • What was your childhood nickname? How did you get it? How did you feel about it? How long did it stick with you?
  • What kind of house did you have as a child? What was the neighbourhood like?
  • What kind of a child were you?
  • What was your favourite toy as a child? Your favourite game?
  • What was one of your favourite childhood stories?
  • Which non-family members made the biggest impact on you as a child? What did they do?
  • How many brothers and sisters did you have? How close were you to each of them?
  • What stands out in your mind as being an especially good time you had with your family?
  • How did you feel about school during your younger years?
  • What is one memory you have of being in school?
  • When did you get into trouble as a child?
  • What was the saddest/happiest moment in your childhood?
  • What is one thing you missed as a child?
  • What’s one characteristic that you had as a child that you still have today?
  • What were the popular fads and leisure activities when you were teenager? What kind of music was popular? What kind of clothing was in?
  • What was your school/college like?
  • What activities were you involved with during your school/college years?
  • What did you do for money? How did you get money when you needed it?
  • What did you do in your spare time?
  • Who were your close friends? How did they influence your life?
  • What were some of your first experiences with dating?  What was it like? How did you feel?
  • What three or four words would you use to describe yourself as a teenager?
  • How and when did you disobey your parents? Or those in authority?
  • What sort of crazy things did you do?
  • What was the most embarrassing that happened to you during school/college?
  • What were your goals when you were a young adult?
  • What was your greatest success as a teenager?
  • If you could relive one moment from your teenage years what would it be? Why?
  • If you could re-do one situation from your teenage years, which one would you re-do? What would you do now?
  • What was your greatest experience during your teenage years?
  • In what ways are you different today from when you were a teenager?
  • What were your favourite things to do as a child? As a teenager?
  • What activities, besides eating went on at the kitchen table when you were growing up?
  • Who was the most influential teacher in your life? Why?

“Personal but not too personal!”

  • What did you want to be when you were a child? How has that though changed now that you have grown up?
  • What characteristics did you have as a child that have remained?
  • What characteristics have you lost or changed on reaching adulthood?
  • What is the best aspect of your personality?
  • What do you regard as your least attractive feature?
  • How do others see you? How is that like or unlike the way you see yourself?
  • If someone were to write a book about you, what do you think they would call it?
  • What one thing would you like to have right now? Why?
  • What are the most important commitments in your life right now?
  • What is the one rut that you have in your life right now?
  • How do you live your life? – with planning and preparation or spontaneity and whim?
  • How is your life different today than it was ten years ago? Five years ago? One year ago?
  • Where would you like to be right now?
  • How do you think the world will change during your lifetime?
  • What do you think the world will be like 100 years from now?
  • What goal would you like to have achieved by the end of the year?
  • What are three or four major goals you want to achieve before you die?
  • What makes you think you will/will not achieve these goals?
  • What do you want to learn or get better at in the upcoming years?
  • What kind of adventures do you want to pursue in the future?
  • What do you want to be doing in five years? Ten years? Twenty years?
  • What would you like to see changed or improved in your personal relationships in the future? What will you do about it?
  • What unfinished business do you want to finish in the future?
  • How do you feel about growing old?
  • If you had just one year to live, and no financial restrictions, how would you spend the year? How would you spend the year if you had to live within your present financial situation?
  • What would you like people to say about you at your funeral?
  • Overall, how do you feel about the future? How do you feel about ‘your’ future?
  • What can you do to make your future as bright as possible?
  • Who is one of the most interesting individuals you have met? What is so interesting about that person?
  • Which famous person do you wish you could spend some time with? Why?
  • If you could only take three people on a trip with you around the world, who would you take? Why?
  • What kinds of people do you most like to be with?
  • What is the first impression that you make on other people?
  • What do you think your friends say about you when you’re not around?
  • Which people or kind of people don’t you like? Why don’t you like them?
  • How do you feel about people who lie?  How do you deal with people who lie to you?
  • What is a communication problem you presently have with someone who means a lot to you?
  • With whom do you talk about your problems? Why?
  • If you had just one word to describe yourself, what would it be? Why?
  • How would you describe yourself to someone who doesn’t know you?
  • What fictional hero do you most closely identify with? Why?
  • When you compare yourself to the way you were ten years ago, what comes to mind?
  • What talents or special skills do you have?
  • How intelligent do you think you are?
  • What moods or feelings best characterise you?
  • When do you feel the most proud of yourself?
  • What effect has fame, notoriety, popularity or position had on you?
  • What do you like the most about yourself?
  • What do you dislike the most about yourself?
  • What is something you sometimes pretend to be but you’re not?
  • What was something you did that was out of character for you?
  • If you could be anyone, who would you rather be? Why?
  • When you are alone and no one can see or hear you, what do you like to do?
  • How are you different on the inside than on the outside?
  • What was one of the proudest moments in your life?
  • What is the best advice you’ve ever received?
  • What was the most trying period in your life?
  • What event in your life has helped you/made you grow the most?
  • What three things in life are most important to you now?
  • What value do you hold as very near and dear to you, a value that you would strongly defend?
  • What is your basic life philosophy?
  • What in your mind are three of the most “immoral” things that people can do?
  • What is one activity that really makes you feel alive?
  • What things do you feel most grateful for?
  • What is guaranteed to make you laugh?
  • What gives you goosebumps?
  • What experience comes to mind where you were so excited, you just couldn’t wait for it to happen?
  • When did you feel especially proud of yourself?
  • When do you feel the most special?
  • What gives you the strongest feelings of security? How secure do you feel most of the time?
  • When do you feel the most contented? Relaxed?
  • What gets you emotional?
  • What experience comes to mind where words just couldn’t describe how you felt?
  • What three words describe how you feel right now?
  • What is one situation where you have felt extremely hopeful?
  • What has been the happiest moment in your life?
  • What brings you the most happiness?
  • What emotions do you find the most difficult to control?
  • What feelings do you have the most trouble expressing? What is one time when you wanted to express those feelings but couldn’t?
  • Which emotion frightens you the most?
  • What is your greatest fear?
  • What makes you feel frustrated? When do you get nervous?
  • What was one of your most embarrassing experiences?
  • What was your loneliest experience?
  • What turns you off the fastest?
  • What is guaranteed to anger you?
  • How do you look when you get angry? How do you behave?
  • What has ever caused you to feel ashamed?
  • What experience hurt you the most?
  • What feeling is most difficult for you to handle in other people?
  • What is one thing you would change about yourself if you had a magic wand?
  • What are you most reluctant to discuss right now?

Travel ”

  • Where would you like to travel if you could go anywhere? Why?
  • Where is the most interesting place you’ve ever gone?
  • What has been your best holiday/holiday experience?
  • What would an ideal holiday be like for you?
  • What is one memorable bus, train or aeroplane trip you’ve taken?
  • What do you think is the most beautiful place on earth?

“Interests and hobbies”

  • What is one of your hobbies? What do you like about it?
  • What is a musical instrument you play or wish you could play?  Why?
  • What is one of your all time favourite movies? Why?
  • What is your favourite food? What is one of your favourite desserts?
  • What is one of your favourite eating-places outside of your home? What makes it so special?
  • What is your favourite kind of music? Your favourite song?
  • What is your favourite leisure activity?
  • What would a perfect weekend be like for you?
  • What do you enjoy doing most with your friends?
  • Of all the parties you’ve attended, which one was extra special? What made it special?
  • What is one of the most unusual meals you have ever eaten?
  • What is the strangest restaurant experience you have ever had?
  • What is one New Year’s Eve you’ll never forget? What happened?
  • What wedding have you attended that stands out in your mind as the most unusual?
  • What has been your greatest achievement?

“Family and home …potential dangers!”

  • Over the years, which of your pets has been your favourite? Why?
  • If you could share one idea about raising children, what would it be?
  • What adult family members had the biggest influence on you as a child? How did they influence you?
  • What is something that your mother/father did that you do now?
  • What country did your mother’s/father’s family come from? How did that influence your family?
  • What is something that you and your mother did together? You and your father?
  • How did your family celebrate birthdays? What was the best birthday present that you ever received from your family?
  • How did your family celebrate the “holidays” when you were living at home?
  • What did you do with your brothers and sisters when you were a child?  A teenager?
  • Who was the athlete in your family? What did they do to become the athlete?  How did this affect you?
  • How much time did you spend with your grandparents when you were growing up?  How close were you to them?
  • What was the most enjoyable thing you’ve ever done with your grandparents or older relatives?
  • What tradition did you enjoy sharing with your grandparents/older relatives when you were a child?
  • How are you like your grandparents?  How are you different?
  • What member of your family do you most closely identify with? Why?
  • Amongst all your family roots and routines, what makes you the proudest?
  • What word or phrase would you use to describe your family?
  • What was something that your mother/father considered very important when you were a child?
  • What was a favourite saying of your parents?
  • What values did you parents try to instil in you?
  • How do your parents’ beliefs and values play a part in your life these days?
  • What, if any, communication gaps did you have with your parents when you were growing up?  What about now?
  • What is a special memory that you have of doing something with your mother? Your father?
  • When you were living at home, what subjects brought the most serious quarrels between you and your parents? What subjects bring the most disagreements today?
  • When did you get punished as a child? When did your parents criticise you as a teenager?
  • How would you describe your mother’s/father’s personality?
  • What is one of the ways your parents and you are alike?
  • What one word best describes your relationship with your mother/father?
  • What unanswered question would you like to ask your parents?
  • What is the one, most positive, most significant difference your parents made in your life?
  • Who is your all time favourite relative? Why?
  • Which two family members most influenced your career? How did they influence you?
  • What is a habit you picked up from a relative?
  • Who is someone you lost in your family that was meaningful to you?  How did that loss affect you?
  • Of all of your relatives, which two have had the most positive influence on you? The most negative? How?
  • What do you like the most about your family these days? The least?

Clarifying the relationship”

  • What was your favourite part of our discussion?
  • What are two things you’ve learned about me through this discussion?
  • What do you think we did well in our conversation?  What do you think we could do better next time?
  • If we were to talk again, where would you like to go with our next round of questions?
  • What were the best two things about our discussion?
  • What effect has this discussion had on you?
  • In general, how did this discussion make you feel about yourself? About me? About anything else?
  • How comfortable or uncomfortable are you feeling in this discussion? Why? What do you want to do about it?
  • What were some of your first impressions of me when we first met?
  • In what ways were these impressions correct/incorrect?
  • In what way do you feel differently about me or our relationship as a result of our discussion?

How well do you think we have communicated while answering these questions?

General Questions….

  • What is your favourite time of the day? Why?
  • What would a perfect day be like for you?
  • What are three things you like about yourself?
  • What did you like about our conversation?
  • What is your favourite time of year? Why?
  • Of all of your material possessions, which one means the most to you?
  • What age do you consider to be the ‘prime of life’?
  • What is your favourite saying? Why?
  • When was the last time you were really surprised?
  • What’s one experience you’ve had in losing/finding something?
  • When was the last time you personally got lost somewhere? What did you do?
  • What is one experience you’ve had in helping someone/them helping you?
  • What experience or interaction have you had with another culture that has affected you?
  • When did you ever have an experience in life where you couldn’t stop laughing?
  • What was a frightening moment that you’ve had?
  • What historical event has influenced you the most in life? Why?
  • What happened on one of the happiest days of your life?
  • What is courage? When is fear ever appropriate?
  • What in your mind constitutes real beauty?
  • What are the three top problems everyone shares?
  • Why do you think that people use illegal drugs? What do you think should be done about it?
  • What do you think has been the most significant thing that has been invented in your lifetime?

In summary….

There are many questions here I really like. But there are probably even more I would never dream of asking. I have edited it down and now it is your choice the ones you use and the ones you ignore.

Good luck with your questioning – the key skill top networkers need to be effective.

One Response to "Brave Questions…."

  • #BlogArchive Brave Questions... - Kintish
    January 10, 2017 - 9:30 am Reply

    […] In this previous #Blog Will has sourced some excellent questions to really get the conversation flowing when out networking… https://www.kintish.co.uk/networking-skills/brave-questions […]

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